What Am I Saying?

Wow it's been about a month since I last wrote in this note. Not much has really happened, finished up swim camp last week. Still talking to Madison like no other haha. Jeffery let me down again :p and that's about it. One month ago I was crushing on a girl for a while one month later she pretty much means nothing to me. who knew the greatest of friends we were a year ago and we don't even talk. I've been playing a lot of black ops lately and because of that I started to become close to Greg. He has helped me a lot with some people that I was confused about before. He seems like a really good role model. Thus leading to the topic of ka aye jay

Meeting a Best Friend

September 2006. Shakopee middle school. 3rd floor, Mr Wagner classroom geography. Back of the room. I stare at you as I still right behind you. You and your blonde hair. You were cute then and never did I think that I would become friends with a girl like you. Back then myspace was the popular thing. We didn't really talk much but we started and from there on, our friendship started to blossom. I remember you writing a long note on. Myspace about what you like about me. To be honest I was flattered. I also wanted to be able to ask you out then but I was scared and didn't know what to do so I never did. In 8th grade nothing to special happened to us. We pretty much went our seperate ways with no intentions of talking again. 9th grade came around and still we didn't talk much the first half. I was one of the founders of the library crew. It started to become big and you started to come everyonce in a while but not too often. And once again our friendship started to slowly blossom again. We gotten really close over the next months and the final dance of the school year I asked you to go. I still remember you wearing your red and black gloves and boy did you look gorgeous. Afterward I asked you out. And thus one week later I made the biggest mistake of my life, and probably the only thing I ever regretted was separating us for me to go with Josie. I am really sorry about that. I was just a little boy that chose looks over personality. And I chose her over you. Thus probably ending a great year for you. I am truely sorry for ruining the end of your great ninth grade year. Years later you told me that youve cried 2-3 times and this was one of them. Once you aaid that I felt horrible. I felt like a horrible person that didn't wasn't worthy enough for you to be friends with me. But yet you still did. Then 10th grade came and somehow toward the end of the year we were ableto become friends again. I personally am happy for this. The summer of 10 was one of the best summer Ive ever had.  I felt that as though we were able to become close. I started to come to your house often and chill there. Not only was I become close to you I was becoming close your family as well! Your family was so lively and now I feel like I'm part of your family. Whenever I came over they opened me with open arms..even when you were not home.

In My Heart

I love you, but you don't care
I miss you, but you don't care
I just want to be friends again but you dont care. So now I'm on my way living a life in despair. Goodbye I say because now I care for you no more. 

I waited for you hoping that things would be different.  But in the end hope was the only thing that ever did change. 1,056 hours was the time we has together. 44 days that I would never forget. One thousand fifty six hours later out of the blue things shattered and we went our separate ways. As I sing this , all I ever wanted was for us to be as close as we once used to be. Remember the great memories that we had, I want those again.  One year left and I don't see anything changing so maybe we go back to an old saying friends to the end not lovers or best friends but just friends. As I watch our friendship diminish. I just wanna say, I wish it ended different