Is this All I Ever Think About?

I started going back to kj house again. There was a week or 2 in which I didn't but now I had to because I missed her so much. Those two ish week that I didn't go to her house were right after Connor left... And then after things happened and we went to Josh for boat/bonfire during derby days and that's when I decided to give up on her. I just could not handle her flirting with Josh like that. I remember the 2nd night that we were there and the mass flirting started. I was just so depressed just like that. And it got very awkward because it was just me Josh and kj...very awkward. I just wanted to leave but I couldn't because I was her ride. After that day I told myself to move on because there was just no chance anymore. I had it and blew it. Now I know for a fact that there no chance left. But even though I told myself to move on .. I just couldn't. I just always end up thinking about her in some way. Like I told Madison..even when I flirt with other girls, I just always end up thinking about kj. So I decided to start going back to visit her. 

Awkward(Turtle)

Wow..that's all I can say is wow. I have never been more awkward in my life then yesterday...maybe it's her trying to tell me something. Maybe I should just move on and never think about her again. Maybe it's not worth living anymore. All these maybe revolving in my head. I have entered a great city once again, a city of depression. Maybe after five years, it's time for me to move on. Actually you know what? Maybe I made the right choice in not going to the high school next year. Time for me to move on maybe and never look back. All the people there are all shady. The one person that actually cares for me ...doesn't ever see me. And I feel like she cares for me more than any of my friends would.

My Type of Woman?

Wow 2 days 2 notes what an accomplishment. I totally forgot how jealous I get when Connor and kj are together. I always end up wishing I was him. Sadly that will never happen. Oh well he is one lucky guy that I'm jealous of when he is around kj. One that struck me today was dating. She is afraid of dating, afraid of the physical part of re relationship. And that she pretty much won't date people right now. So many my tiny bit of hope just disappeared and the fact that moving on comes into my mind but idk. I want to be with her and at times, to me of course, it feels like we are dating and this is what it was suppose to be. I dont really think about this much. Most of the time I don't really think about getting into girls pants. There may be times when I have urges but usual that because I want a kiss or make out. Usually it. Sadly I don't think most guys think like and usually ends up me being called gay by Josh and Leo. Oh well.    
In other news, I have learned what I'm interested in, in girls. That was pretty cool because I have pretty much dated all sorts if girls now and finally was able to understand a little bit more about myself. A woman of my type has to be kinda short. Hair does not matter to me. It can be anything. Goodnight (;

Oh Gosh..why am i writing this?

So maybe I fell asleep before I finished writing my note...oh well! Whoa! It's august already! Holy crap I did not know that. Anyways back to this note. I don't think I have ever been more pissed off than I have been today. One girl brought me so far off the edge I just want to smack her. she doesn't even know what she is doing to her best friends. She ditches her best friends for a tv show or ditches them for some random person. She doesn't care for the people who care for her the most. She just walks all over them like a mat and then throws them away. I was in such a great mood earlier and she just had to go and ruin it for me. Urg! Now I can't even sleep anymore. Thank god Madison is still up so I can vent to someone or else I would of done things unimaginable right now. Ahhhhhhh!