Is it a Triangle?

Well its been forever since I have wrote in this blog yet it still hasn't changed the subject. I still like to complain and be sad about life. This one is an interesting one though. So my friend has been "seeing" this girl as well as pursing another girl. Though I didn't like it, I did not question it much nor give him a hard time for it. Recently he told the girl that he was "seeing" that it was over and then told me that as well. So as a guy as i am, I went and pursued her in which i succeeded. In the short time that we were hanging out my friend found out and he told me that it was a good thing since that way he would be able to just focus on the girl that he really wanted to be with. Thus my best friend and I were both happy. He had the girl he was going after and I had the girl that he said quits too. THEN, my friend found out that he had no chance to date the girl that he was going after and that she was going after his best friend that wasn't me. He was having not a great day but I then tried to cheer him up. Over the weekend we went and biked  to go see the girl i was seeing at work and I left him there since he wanted to stay and I wanted to go to bed. I ended up having a gut feeling that something was happening but I try not to be jealous anymore and well the next I found out that he went and kissed her. Now they are seeing each other and here I am out of the question. Am I suppose to be mad at him or just let it go and move on. I just dont know how Im suppose to feel about this at all. I just want to talk to someone about this. :/

Hoping everyone's school year is going great and good luck on the upcoming finals.

Signing out
Steven

Just A Thought

I'm surprised that anyone even looks at this blog anymore. I haven't posted in so long but that was because I didn't know what to write about but now I've concluded that I will try to write because one of the reason I wrote this blog was to just write about my life.

This summer has been interesting to say the least. It was different than what I had expected. I just don't see many people anymore, most of them are working now. The path that was mentioned many times in high school, the one that would lead you to the "real world" is finally showing itself. Everyone has gone their separate ways. Its hard to imagine that this time next year some people won't even be back for the summer. Their path lies in a new city completely.  When I think about people going their separate ways, will I still be friends with them or will that go with them as well.

They say that one of the main reason we lost friends with someone is because of the lack of communication and because people change. It goes with the saying that your best friend this year could be just another stranger next year. Those people that we really do care about, do we actually show it or do we just hide it and expect them to know? I know for me I'm guilty of just hiding things and now really showing that I really care for my friends a lot. It gets harder to stay friends with someone the less contact you get with them.

Six years or so ago, I met this girl and through our ups and downs we manage to become friends throughout the rest of our high school career. This girl then went a different path than I did after high school. I wonder if I don't occasionally visit, would be remain friends or would we just acquaintances with each other. My freshman year was when I actually started to meet people that I could actually relate to. Freshman year was when I joined the swim team. That year I met these two guys that had very interesting characters to them. Even though they are different in their own ways, we had so much in common from the things we did to the sports that we played. Things were so much easier back then when all we had to do was go to school and pass our classes. Freshman year was the year where we created the "library group." These were the kids that before school hung out at the library. Not only was that significant but the kids from SACS made their way into public school. Freshman year was the year I felt the most "fit" in with a group of friends. Not only did I find guys that were pretty awesome, I met these two ladies that definitely had different personalities. I don't really know how I met this girl, that will always be a mystery, but this girl has this aura that makes me want to do better with myself like obeying road signs to not swearing as much. It weird but this girl made me promise that we would stay best friends even past college. She gave me hope when I was lost. This girl even to this day has helped me with so much and I never really knew how to thank her.

Its those friends that you find early on that help bring that best out of you that truly because your best friends... and yes you can have more than one best friend. Now that college hit, it feels weird that we slowly lose the connection that we had, slowly because but just another stranger in our lives. Even though they leave, you find new friends to "replace" them, to replace that part of yourself that you feel has been lost.

Just a thought till next time.

Changes.

The final two weeks of college. Roughly 20,160 minutes left before summer begins. When i look back on how things have started until now, so much has changed. I became one year older, one year wiser. So much happened in these last eight months. The friendship bonds with the people I cared the most grew stronger than ever before. To the point where the bonds become almost unbreakable. Friendship is the most important part of any life. They are the people that help you get through any day no matter how easy or how hard the days are. When college first started, I had no idea how I would make friends. I was/ am still a shy child. Eventually though somehow I was able to friends that mean a lot to me. Once the friends were found though, college became different. It actually became fun to be at! Now the friends that I made here will be slowly incorporated into the friend group I home that I value the most.

Not only has the friends that I've made changed, but also the setting at home. At the beginning of the year, a few of my friends made a friendly bet on just some things like would be life changing. Looking back on it now, it definitely changed. We were all wrong! Somethings we were glad we got wrong and others we wished would happened differently.

As one door closes another will soon open. Only time will tell what will come in the future.
hoping the best friends I made here are just as awesome as back home

Steven

p.s Sorry this blog may not be the greatest.

Friendship

This post today comes from my phone.  Here I am laying on the ground but that doesnt matter, I was able to see Amber. We decided to take a road trip out to see Jacob out at his college. The three of us today makes me miss the summer and how close we are. We were able to see jacob and connected right away like nothing has changed even though we were 10-11 hours away.

Today I can say that I has the most fun in a long time. It felt nice to be away from everything. Even though we didnt really so much it was nice. I think the thing I love most is just talking and catching up.

It makes you appreciate the friends that you have. In high school the friends that you made were taking for granted. Then those friends soon became your best friends. Even then it felt like things were taking for granted. It wasnt until college that I realized how much my close friends meant to me. Theses are the people that I want to stay friends with forever. While in high school we didnt have to try hard to communicate to each other, but now that im in college its a diffetent story.  Now to stay friends we have to try a little bit and keep in touch with each other. 

I feel like for the most part I have failed on that. Today it has made me realize that maybe I should try reaching out because eventually without contact =loss of friendships that matter.

Trying not to lose friends
Steven

PC gamers

It is 3 in the morning and yet I am still up and can't fall asleep once again. I wish I didn't have this problem. Anyways, this weekend people started to question me and asking me how I could do something for so long yet they were doing the same thing. This was the first weekend when I didn't have any homework to do and I was able to just relax and do whatever I wanted. So I ended up playing minecraft with a bunch of people from my dorm. Sure it may have been alot, ten plus hours but that was over the course of three days. Why is it that only people that play games get question why they game so long. Right next door, there are people that play call of duty all day and all night and yet they never get questioned. Or musicians, Musician practice music all the time. There were days where I would play all day and no one ever wondered why I was doing that. What about hunters, all they do is sit in a spot for a very long time waiting for their prey to past by and then kill them and sometimes nothing ever shows up and in the end of the weekend they have nothing to show but it is ok for them to do that. PC gamers are just the same except they enjoy a more virtual world. The thing that really pissed me off was that sure I was playing minecraft all weekend, the people that ended up asking me how we could play this all day, was drunk all weekend. So pretty much they were doing the exact same thing as me but apparently in their eyes being drunk is socially acceptable but playing minecraft is not.

Well at least I don't lose brain cells

President's Weekend

Wow I never thought that I would of done this but I have published after this one 100 post! That's insane. I thought about posting something different as it is the 100th post but in the end realized I wouldn't of got here if it was the normal things that I post.

Last weekend, President's weekend I went home for the first time since winter break and it was quite an interesting weekend. It started off as a nice chill weekend going to my friends apartment to stay. There I was greeted by some of my favorite people in the world! I got to see my second family. It just made me realized how much I really miss these people and how much I miss being at home. I didn't even end up going home until Saturday at around three or four. Once I got home though, no one was there. My dad and bro had gone to him band concert. While my mom was out in Ireland doing some work related thing. My mom then decided to "Tango" me, which is pretty much skype but was a different app. I ended up talking to her for about an hour or until my brother got back. That night though I still didn't stay at home, I went back to my friend's apartment and hung out and stayed for the night. On Sunday I ended up doing a lot of homework and that night I went to hung with JH KJ TS and DJ. We went to the tea garden out in Minneapolis and then to watch warm bodies afterward. It was a nice get together that we did. Tonight would be the first night that I actually slept in my own bed.
On Monday, I was suppose to go back to Fargo but a blizzard came and they closed down I94 so we couldn't get into fargo if we wanted to. So with that setback I went out to Mankato because I wanted to visit some friends and not wanting to stay at home for the day. Heading out to kato wasn't bad, nice clear roads. Went and surprised some friends. First surprised JN and ending up hanging out with her for a couple hours. After hanging with JN, I went and hung out with AE. It was so nice to see her again. Even though we just sat and talk, it was definitely really nice.

The most interesting thing I did that weekend was I had to drive back to shakopee from mankato during blizzard like conditions. Again I had to drive it to fargo in blizzard conditions. Man I have a weird life.

Steven

Happy Chinese New Years

So how's the weather from where you are? Here in Fargo, we currently are experiencing a blizzard! It is so bad that they have already called in and canceled school for tomorrow. I thought that winter would be done by now but guess not. This has probably been the most snowfall at one time that I have seen.

Anyways onto a different topic. 

Happy Chinese New Years! Chuc mung nam moi (happy new years in Chinese). It is officially the year of the snake. This new years marks the very first new years where I wasn't with my family. It just feels really weird and to think that I have more of these to come in the future. Before leaving college I never really knew what missing my family would be like because I never had that feeling before. Even when my mom would go out and travel for one to three weeks, it meant nothing to me. Now though, they mean everything to me. It just feels so weird and sadly it has only been about a month since I've last saw them but still. I miss them so much right now. Next weekend, president day weekend, I plan to go home and visit some friends but sadly I wont be able to see my mom because she will be in Ireland. I haven't told anyone yet that I would be coming home mainly because I'm not sure that I can find a ride home or not.

The other day I went to a basketball game here at NDSU, the first non football sporting event i went to. It was pretty cool but it wasn't like anything I thought it would be. Well it was weird, anytime we were score points the entire crowd would cheer loudly. It could be from a simple layup to a swish from the 3 point line. Shouldn't a layup be normal and not something that should be exciting? I think the worse part about it was during the half time show. It was high school dancers dancing but that wasnt the worse part. The worse part was that they look liked sluts, 12 year old sluts. They wore the tights that looked like fishnets and they danced as though they were in a club trying to hook up with guys. Nothing seem too coordinated at all.

Lastly my blog here wouldn't be a normal blog without talking about my friends. Recently three of my close friends moved into an apartment together and I cant wait to see it. The best part about it is that they all have girlfriends now too! They are starting to make a name for themselves. Another is out at UND but I don't really know much about what is going on with her. All I know is that she is on her way to pursing what she wants to be. We can't forget about preggers. She is two months away from popping it out. Then we have the guys out at Carroll and UMD. Sadly though I know nothing of what they are doing or how they are.  Everyone seems to be on their way to being successful. Then there's me. Ever since I have came here I have done nothing with myself. I haven't done anything that would bring me closer to becoming a pharmacist. Urg.
Then there is this girl that I kind of like as well. And I have no idea what I want to do with this feeling. Im in a  tough spot right now. Can't say much about this except she is "short" well about average for a woman. More to come about this relationships and feelings in the next post.

Anyways Keeping you confused as I am
 till next time

One Odd Dream to Reality

So right now I should be writing a paper for my English class, but instead I'm here updating my blog while watching the super bowl commercials on YouTube. It got me thinking, people and players get pumped for this day. Players dream of the day that they can perform on the big stage with millions watching them.Sure I had a dream like that once. Dreams are dreams and sometimes you just have to go back to reality.

Before we head back to reality though, I had this crazy dream the other night. It wasn't one complete dream but instead it was a bunch of different parts to it. It started off where my friends and I were sitting around and we were talking, making small jokes and then one of the girls leans over to me and ask "would he really do that" I was shocked that she would ask me that and I just told her back " I have no idea but who knows unless you make the first move." After that all I remember was that there was a closed door. It then went to another place and I was jumping out of a plane. When I was about to jump for some reason I couldn't and when I looked down I had no bones. I was just a blob of skin jumping out of a plane. I had a couple of dreams like before it was over.

Once a dream is over, back to reality we go. Sometimes reality is like a dream and other times reality sucks. My reality is pretty mellow right now. Just an average college student that tries and study and get good grades. I'm not one of those students that you see on TV that goes out and parties all the time, just an average student trying to get through college. When I first got here, I was so excited to go to parties and make "poor decisions" but as time when on I found out that parties aren't really my scene. I don't really party hard with people I don't know. The worst part about it was that I didn't know anyone at all. I had no one to go to when I first got here. That may have been the worse part but the sad part was that I am a shy kid so making new friends and talking to new people isn't really my forte. Slowly I started meeting people and soon they became my friends, although who would want to be friends with me :P. I had found friends that I could kind of relate to at home. Maybe not the same as home but this is the best that I got. I can see myself being friends with these people for a very long time. But what really is a long time? Is a long time just a couple of hours or a couple days? Maybe its a year or better yet a lifetime. Who knows but why think that far into the future. What better time than to live in the present. The present here though isn't as great as one may seem. It has been cold and miserable in Fargo. Sure when you first look at the weather it isn't that bad, five degrees out or even -15 degrees out. What you really have to look for when you look at the weather out here the wind. The wind is just horrible. The other day there was 45 mph winds and a couple days ago it was 30 mph winds. So just imagine your -15 degree plus 30 mph winds, you are now freezing your face off.

At times like these, I just love to think about summer! Summer, a time where you have nothing to worry about and life is good. You got bikini, beaches, sun, boats and tons of fun with friends. This summer I want to make it as epic as I possibly can! These are the fun things I want to do by the end of summer

• Skydive! 
• Cliff Jumping
• More Paint balling
• Learn how to wake board
• Go to some concerts!
• Go on a road trip with friends
• Party!
• Have bonfires
• Just living life as it should be
• Travel

And the not so much fun things that I plan to achieve

• Taking the PCAT
• Going to summer school with Organic Chemistry 2

These list could go on and on forever but this is what I want most to do this summer. It is kind of like a summer bucket list. 

Well it is getting kind of late now as it is 2:30 in the morning and my battery is just about dead, So I will talk to you guys soon (: 

Be Your Everything

1st post of 2013

Looking at back on the past, mistakes were made, happiness happened, friends were made and ultimately life happened. No matter what happened over the year life still went on around me.

Looking at life now, everything has changed from summer. Everyone around me has fallen into a relationship. They have someone special to hold tight. Someone that cares a lot about them and would do anything for them. It just makes me so happy for them but so jealous as well. All I want is to find someone that can be that person. Someone that I can hold and would make my day just so much better. Today I helped my best friend with his relationship. It's so hard to make sure that they are happy sometimes.They have traveled down a bumpy road and trying to just head back to smooth sailings. A bro code was broken in this process. You never try to get the girl on your best friend. You NEVER try to break a relationship up, unless it is harmful to their health. How does one handle this? Who can you trust after this when the best friend is hitting on the girlfriend?

Why does everyone come to me when they have a relationship question? Why is the advice I give so much more powerful then someone else's? It may sound weird but sometimes I wish I was on the other side of this. I just want to be on the side with the relationship fixing problems that I had with her. Making the bond even stronger. Sadly though, I just haven't found the one yet, I thought I did but it wasn't what I expected. People around keep telling me to stop worrying about relationships but to focus on school. How can I focus when all I can think about is this? I hate thinking how lonely I really am. It maybe weird but I do better in school when I have a girlfriend just because then I'm actually happy with myself and able to do other things.

I just realized that all I'm really doing in this post is rambling and rambling on.

Anyways I just wanna cuddle >.< is that so much to ask?

Steven

Happy New Years

First post of the year! I would like to start by saying Happy New Years to everyone out there. May all your dreams, resolutions and wishes be true!

I thought about writing a post reflecting my year but why bother, my life is already written on the pages already.I just continue with the same old stuff. 

Everyone always ask what your new years resolution so for this year I want to be strong, I want to be "fit", I want to make friends that mean everything to me. Finally I want to be less shy to people. These don't seem to hard to do. I don't like making resolution in which I can't do. Why bother? These are the goals that I want to achieve!

So once again Happy New Year, May good fortune be upon you :D 

Steven

Merry Christmas

I just want to post a shout out everyone out there. 



Because Happy Holiday is what the terrorist want you to say :D
Hope everyone out there is having a safe and wonderful Christmas spending with the people they love and the ones that mean the most to them.

Have a great holiday

Steven :)

suicide.

Suicide. The ending of one's life and the beginning of another. This happens when the person can no longer bear the pain of what ever they are going through. Thus choosing the "easy" way out is the only way for them to go. A quick exit from life, no respawn, no redo. But when does the pain ever become enough to point that life cannot be lived once more?

I personally have been down this road. Suicide does not just come out of nowhere. It starts off from one small thing and slowly but surely builds up. For me it started simply because I had to move schools. Transferring schools as a little child can be very tough especially when you transfer into a world between elementary school and middle school. It started as that and then I could not make friends like I wanted to, instead I got the opposite of that. I got myself a bully that would always pick on me because of the color of my skin and the lack of muscle that I had upon my body. This went on for a couple of grades but the bullies, they came and went but as soon as one went, another one would come and pick on me for something else. Around this time my depression started, I was lost in a new school where no one wanted me to be there. A world where I would get picked on. I would come home all scarred and bruised up from getting picked on. 

Things soon got better once middle school came around, I was able to start over and try once more to become friends with people that I wanted to be friends with. Seventh grade happened. By mid semester of that year I was enjoying myself once again without the worries of bullies. I was happy for the first time at school since coming to this city. Seventh grade and 8th grade were interesting years for me and do most middle school kids realize. It had its up and downs. Some days were better than others and sometimes I had a horrible month but it was because of the friends that were there that made it better. 

Everything was going great until the end of 8th grade going into freshman year. One thing lead to another and everything just spiraled out of control for me. First it was the thought of having to move again but this time it wasn't just going to be another city in the state, not even with in the continent but the idea of having to move across the world to the other hemisphere; Australia.  It started as that then my parents started to argue all the time so the mood at home was not always the best to come home to. Since my parents start arguing, I too eventually started to argue with them as well. It could of been something so simple as to go to a friends house for a little bit but then it would get worse and worse. This time I had falling into a depression that was at its worse. Its one thing to be unhappy at school but when you become unhappy with your home life, things start to go downhill. I slowly become more and more unhappy at school and my friends would start to realize this and me as being a person that does not share his emotions to anyone just pushed them away. The more I tried to push them away, the more they would push back and tried to help me. 

At the time when it was at it worse, I would be thinking about suicide day in and day out. One simply thing could end my life. A car going just as fast as you in the opposite way, all I had to do was swerve just a little and there goes. The amount of firearm in the house would be able to easily end my life. It was just so hard to live everyday being depressed and unable to do anything. Nothing was going well. The "depression cloud" soon affect my schooling and the things I liked to do. The only thing it couldn't take was my swimming. Even if I wanted to quit, I wasn't allowed to as no one gave me a choice to quit. 

During this time I met amazing friends that would help me get through this. Three people come to mind whenever this topic ever come up. They tried their hearts out to protect me, to help me, to get through the troubled times. Without the help of them who knows if I would have been here today.

But enough about me and my not so great story, throughout the years I have come to know peole that were like me and have gone through the exact same thing. They soon became my best friends and as I was able to conquer my depression, so were they. We were able to help one another get out something that was so dangerous that if one of us was successful then all of them would have been successful as well. It took the strength of love, the will to go on, friends, and ultimately you knowing that there will be better times that was able to get me out of this.

Hope you are still alive
Steven :)

Some unfinished post, post

She will always be loved. This might be the final post about her. I think I've fought this losing battle long enough. Nothing will ever happen anyways so why bother. I think I have accepted it. Not that we even talk anymore or even acknowledge that we were even friends at all. Im just a spec of dust that has blown past never to be seen. She will always have a place in my heart no matter what happens. Not only will it be her, her whole family too. And speaking of families my 7 year best friend and her family will always a spot in my heart too. Ill always love them(:

Love. Love and kindness. I think these are the two emotional feelings that I have down.  I have never liked to see any of my friends to be anything happy. The other day I was at a friends party and there, there was a girl who was getting picked on and not going to lie I had my fair shares of making fun of her. I was told all the bad things about her but none of the good things about her. Later that night her and I had a talk for a couple hours while I tried to help keep her warm as she was freezing. I even offered the blanket spot that I had to her just so she could be happy. A girl that I knew for just about a day. I still just wanna cuddle someone. Meh!

Forever alone?

In 9 minutes, I will be here for three months. In these three months, I can say I have done almost nothing. I have spent my time just doing nothing pretending to make friends but in the end I have made none. I can sum up my three months into just a couple words: Sleep, School, gaming. I can say that slowly I'm starting to talk less and less to people and become more and more isolated. On the brighter side of things, I changed roommates and now him and I get along quite nicely. Besides making sure we go to class, all we do is League of Legends together. Right now my sitting in the lounge with three of the "closest" friends here. I wish I knew more people here. The people here aren't the people that I would be friends with. I think the worse are the people from Kappa Psi. They always think that they are better than all of us. They just make it sound exactly like I would of pictured them to be, just big douches. I wish I had more friends here. 

Forever alone

Steven

College stress part one

Its 3:51 am as I write this post out. I just need to clear my head. Something just isnt right, I cant seem to get enough sleep anymore. My mind just wanders off into weird places.

I miss shako, I never thought I would say this but I actually miss the people from home. I miss my group of friends that I got to be with. I miss the people that made my life just so enjoyable. Here I havent really found anyone like that. But this is a bigger issue for me. There is this girl that for some reason cannot leave my head. Can someone help me figure out why? We were the best of friends and now, well now we just arent anything anymore but she is the person that I miss the most. I dont understand my mind. She is like the perfect girl. Whoever you are that gets her, well you sir are one extremely lucky guy. I know I have no chance with her anymore. She probably has moved on from me but sadly I wish I could fix my wrongs wkth her and try this all over again. I was stupid.

That alone is a huge issue. Maybe thats why I want a girlfriend so bad. Maybe its my mind trying to tell me that thats how I leave her. But until I am able to find a girl that actually likes me, forever alone, if that could ever happen than ill be glad.

Pretty sure I still love you

Steven

I'm Lonely

7 weeks ago, I moved into this school. 7 weeks ago, my life changed. Now Im just a college kid that just trying to find his place upon this world. Eighth floor Thompson Hall is where I will be. Eighth floor and 9th floor are the only floors that I have friends in. Actually these 2 floors are the only friends I have. I feel so alone in this place.  I have yet to find my place here. Everyone seems to have made some great friends and me, well that's a different story. I haven't found anyone that i can relate to or anyone that I can call my best friend because of how much we are alike. Sure I have made some fends but will those friends be there for me when I need them the most. Will they be like the friends from back home? I wish there was someone here from home :(

I'm Alive Post

Tomorrow marks the 4th week in college. This life has been so much more different than I thought. So much has changed since I have came here. But before I write about that, there is something that I have to talk about before college. The final month of summer, so much happened that I can say I do not feel to proud of. By the end of the summer I ended up fitting the stereotype of a bad guy. I just wanted to have fun but in the end for me to have the "fun" i wanted, I sacrifice some of my friends. I feel like I messed everything up back home. The close friends back home that I had, just aren't even friends anymore. What I did was horrible and consequently I deserved this. I just hope that I day they will forgive me.

I don't want to talk about that anymore, lets move on to the college life. I came here scared, scared that I would not make friends but thanks to living on the pharmacy floor i have made some great fiends so far. Even though I have made some great friends I still miss some of my old friends that have been there for me even when i mess things up. Life isn't too shabby right now but who knows what the future brings for me. This was just a short post that i wanted to write, just so people know im still alive.

Until next time
The Secret Azian Man

Friends

Today we are graduates. Tomorrow..? We ended one journey in our lives and have now closed the door but the saying goes " As one door closes, another opens." Our lives at Shakopee High School is now over. The memories sealed away in a vault to never be tampered nor touched again. In just a few months many of us will be heading off to far off places to do extraordinary things. Most of us will be heading off to college in afar places. What will we become in these places. The friends here have made the journey oh so wonderful. Some of these friends we call our best friends but too many times I have seen it happen that they leave as best friends and come back nothing. Where will we be a year from now when school has ended for most people in their first year at college? Will you still have the same best friend that you did before you left? Will you still be friends with them at all? It is a scary thought to think about in just a few months, our lives will be changed. The people we hang out with, the friends we have and ultimately who we are. To my close friends, Lets not lose contact with one another and hopefully we still are best friends when we meet again next summer :D

Steven

The First Day of the Rest of Our Lives

Today was the last day of high school for many people. Today we say goodbye to the class of 2012. Everyone is so excited for it all to be over. After we came home from a track meet one night, it hit me. The last few days that I ever will be here competing for this team, creating memories and making amazing friends.  As I walk through the high school school, through the empty hallways and the empty classrooms, I reminisce of all those time I sat in those chairs and walked down the halls. I think back on the people that were there for me most. But most of all I think of how much things have changed from when I got here until now. How much my friends have changed and how much my life has changed. Changed for the better I feel like. Not only were there memories of my high school career at the high school but also at the Junior High; The place where I played my sports. From the long winter season all cooped up inside a pool to the outdoors of the treacherous weather of track season. I am actually going to miss high school. Life is all but a third done already. The childhood years are over now. These next feel months are where we see who are friends really were and which friends we decide to keep and hold close to us.

Summer is upon us now and like many others, I'm so glad that it is finally here. The rest of our lives are upon us now. Summer, the finally time we can all be together one last time/ one last hurraw before we all head off to college. This summer i just wanted to do one thing but now that one thing will not even happen much sadly. I just was not expecting this to happen so soon. I wasn't ready for this routine to happen. I was expecting to be able to be there every couple days and just let the world go by because life would always be perfect. Seriously though, right now with her by my side, I feel like life is complete. I feel like she is that person that we all wait to find, the person that you know you love and would do anything for. The person that makes you go giddy on the inside every time you see them. I know that it may seem weird to some people because we have only been dating for a couple weeks, yes weeks not months nor years but the thing is, I have been chasing and crashing at times to be with her. I just hope that even though we have a slight visitation problem that it does not interfere with anything or any plans.

The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that they can grow separately without growing apart.
Steven :D
P.S.


Amber Louise:) I like the relationship that we have. We are just like best friends but we have an extra part of the friendship that makes us boyfriend/ girlfriend. That's just the way I like it. College, the hardest part of a relationship is college. For me to want to be with her, we first need to pass through college. Once I pass college and stay with her, then i can be with her for a long time. She is like the perfect girl that I never thought I could have. She super smart especially in math ;) Not only is she smart, she is also very gorgeous! If you have ever looked in her eyes, you would see that sparkle in her eyes. Her brown eyes that make you melt inside whenever I look and makes me want to be with her just a little bit more. Then when she smiles, you cannot help but to smile back at her. Just seeing her smile makes your day just a little bit better. She has one of those smiles that makes your day better when your day isn't the greatest. Besides being gorgeous and smart she also has such a fantastic personality. She has changed me without knowing it. She has been like a small role model for me. How can one be so kind, so smart and yet be a good child? She help stride me to become a better person as well. For me to be a good person that didn't have to do stupid things to have friends. She helped me see that your closest friends are the ones that accept you for just the way you are even if there are flaws. She has helped me some much more that she probably knows. Not only did she make me just a better person and a better friend, she has helped me when I needed the most, when people started to disappear, she stayed by my side and helped me get through my depression. The time where I just wanted to not be seen or heard. The time where life just seem so stupid. The time where life almost ended for me. She was one of the few that took the time to help me get better, to make sure I did not do anything stupid. She is more amazing than she give herself credit for. She may not think that she is anything special but she is definitely special to me. She is one of those people I do not want to see gone in my life. I would become lost without her. The girl of my dreams, actually mine. I thought catching the dream girl and living happily ever after only happens in movies.


you found the secret post.
Steven  :D