Cody

So here I lay upon this night wondering if I made the right choice? Today I went to church and things just felt right. Burdens were lifted during that time and a second chance happened. I feel as though broken friendships are finally being mended back together and my life is going back on track.amber and I are heading the right direction? I think. I found out she "likes" Cody today oh well I always thought it would have been Harrison that she would of like.but then again I did have that gut feeling she wouldend us for Cody and my gut was right. Although I maybe jealous I still would rather have amber and an extremely close best friend then a not so close girlfriend. Just those talk with Madison just somehow made things seem not as hard as they should be. Thank you God for putting Madison into my life as she is an awesome friend. Next week is going to be pretty awesome! Swim meet all the way! And then track!!! I'm excited but I still don't know what I'm going to do yet oh well. Life has been rough and will later be rough as well but I just need a way to get through the roughness of life

a promise...broken?

Well as this week begins I think to myself, what have I done wrong to you for you to this to me.  I think that maybe it just time I put you out of my life, once and for all , but then I think again of the promise I once promise to you: to never leave you ever. But As I lay here and think to myself, I may have to break this promise in order to move on. I just cannot do this anymore, I miss just talking to her all the time, just being by her side. I have to stop thinking about this and stop talking to her l. Stop Texting her and worse of all I should just stop going to lunch and seeing her because every time I see her, I miss the olden days. As I lay here thinking to myself, wondering what life could of been, I thank God for the things that has happened. God, please help me as I go through life with my roadblocks and troubles. Please guide me in the right direction. I just wish that I could talk to someone about this, but the one person that I do want to talk to this about, IS the person that it is about so it would be pointless to talk to amber about the problem I have with her in order for me to find the solution for this amber problem. But as I have already done that once and nothing has happen..thing just got worse, I resort to doing the one thing left that I can think that does not involve physical pain upon my body. I tend to run away from my problems.

As I lay here and conclude, what have i done and what must I do?

missing you was the hardest thing i had to do

Well this week was pretty interesting..amber and I see to be getting more awkward as the week go and the dance...well that was a huge fail. If I had to repeat anything that would be the one. Urg I miss the old amber or well the 2 months ago amber? The one where we were just amazing best friends and none of this was awkward at all. Well hopefully things will be better pretty soon..after KJ house things should since I'm slowly getting over the fact that she isn't my gf anymore and we can still be just as amazing best friends are we once were or better yet even better best friends that doesn't cross the border of boyfriend and girlfriend. Well I have to go eat now. So I'll talk to you very soon.

the end :(

Hey journal, as I had suspected she was different after a month and 12 days the journey that u thought she was the one is over...:( it's really sad. I did think that she was the one for me but I guess she didn't feel the same way about me. Oh well :( like she said, I want us to be best friends again and only best friends. Us best friends is fine with me. I hope things return to the way it was before and not awkward at all, but just like any other relationship there is bound to be awkwardness somewhere. I hope your best friend ship returns to normal :) I hope :) and if things were meant to be like this..then let it be . But if we were meant to be together again and it will be fine by me. :)