Some unfinished post, post

She will always be loved. This might be the final post about her. I think I've fought this losing battle long enough. Nothing will ever happen anyways so why bother. I think I have accepted it. Not that we even talk anymore or even acknowledge that we were even friends at all. Im just a spec of dust that has blown past never to be seen. She will always have a place in my heart no matter what happens. Not only will it be her, her whole family too. And speaking of families my 7 year best friend and her family will always a spot in my heart too. Ill always love them(:

Love. Love and kindness. I think these are the two emotional feelings that I have down.  I have never liked to see any of my friends to be anything happy. The other day I was at a friends party and there, there was a girl who was getting picked on and not going to lie I had my fair shares of making fun of her. I was told all the bad things about her but none of the good things about her. Later that night her and I had a talk for a couple hours while I tried to help keep her warm as she was freezing. I even offered the blanket spot that I had to her just so she could be happy. A girl that I knew for just about a day. I still just wanna cuddle someone. Meh!

Forever alone?

In 9 minutes, I will be here for three months. In these three months, I can say I have done almost nothing. I have spent my time just doing nothing pretending to make friends but in the end I have made none. I can sum up my three months into just a couple words: Sleep, School, gaming. I can say that slowly I'm starting to talk less and less to people and become more and more isolated. On the brighter side of things, I changed roommates and now him and I get along quite nicely. Besides making sure we go to class, all we do is League of Legends together. Right now my sitting in the lounge with three of the "closest" friends here. I wish I knew more people here. The people here aren't the people that I would be friends with. I think the worse are the people from Kappa Psi. They always think that they are better than all of us. They just make it sound exactly like I would of pictured them to be, just big douches. I wish I had more friends here. 

Forever alone

Steven

College stress part one

Its 3:51 am as I write this post out. I just need to clear my head. Something just isnt right, I cant seem to get enough sleep anymore. My mind just wanders off into weird places.

I miss shako, I never thought I would say this but I actually miss the people from home. I miss my group of friends that I got to be with. I miss the people that made my life just so enjoyable. Here I havent really found anyone like that. But this is a bigger issue for me. There is this girl that for some reason cannot leave my head. Can someone help me figure out why? We were the best of friends and now, well now we just arent anything anymore but she is the person that I miss the most. I dont understand my mind. She is like the perfect girl. Whoever you are that gets her, well you sir are one extremely lucky guy. I know I have no chance with her anymore. She probably has moved on from me but sadly I wish I could fix my wrongs wkth her and try this all over again. I was stupid.

That alone is a huge issue. Maybe thats why I want a girlfriend so bad. Maybe its my mind trying to tell me that thats how I leave her. But until I am able to find a girl that actually likes me, forever alone, if that could ever happen than ill be glad.

Pretty sure I still love you

Steven