prom thinking

Everyday.. It just seems to be getting worse and worse. I promised amber I would stop thinking about this, but I can't .it has become a part of me. Everywhere I go in the high school people talk about prom and it saddens me even more. Not only is it prom but they all talk about relationships. Prom is pretty bad. I wanna go but I don't at the same time. I just don't feel like I belong there anymore. I just don't belong anywhere anymore. Mentally I cannot handle this anymore, everyone and their talking about prom just saddens my heart and makes me more and more depressed. Life is mentally and emotional getting really hard for me. Many times I wonder if this is all worth it anymore. Each and everytime I zone out, I think about death and if it would be worth it. I just don't belong in my group of friends anymore. They are better off without me and wouldn't even care if I was gone