Just A Thought

I'm surprised that anyone even looks at this blog anymore. I haven't posted in so long but that was because I didn't know what to write about but now I've concluded that I will try to write because one of the reason I wrote this blog was to just write about my life.

This summer has been interesting to say the least. It was different than what I had expected. I just don't see many people anymore, most of them are working now. The path that was mentioned many times in high school, the one that would lead you to the "real world" is finally showing itself. Everyone has gone their separate ways. Its hard to imagine that this time next year some people won't even be back for the summer. Their path lies in a new city completely.  When I think about people going their separate ways, will I still be friends with them or will that go with them as well.

They say that one of the main reason we lost friends with someone is because of the lack of communication and because people change. It goes with the saying that your best friend this year could be just another stranger next year. Those people that we really do care about, do we actually show it or do we just hide it and expect them to know? I know for me I'm guilty of just hiding things and now really showing that I really care for my friends a lot. It gets harder to stay friends with someone the less contact you get with them.

Six years or so ago, I met this girl and through our ups and downs we manage to become friends throughout the rest of our high school career. This girl then went a different path than I did after high school. I wonder if I don't occasionally visit, would be remain friends or would we just acquaintances with each other. My freshman year was when I actually started to meet people that I could actually relate to. Freshman year was when I joined the swim team. That year I met these two guys that had very interesting characters to them. Even though they are different in their own ways, we had so much in common from the things we did to the sports that we played. Things were so much easier back then when all we had to do was go to school and pass our classes. Freshman year was the year where we created the "library group." These were the kids that before school hung out at the library. Not only was that significant but the kids from SACS made their way into public school. Freshman year was the year I felt the most "fit" in with a group of friends. Not only did I find guys that were pretty awesome, I met these two ladies that definitely had different personalities. I don't really know how I met this girl, that will always be a mystery, but this girl has this aura that makes me want to do better with myself like obeying road signs to not swearing as much. It weird but this girl made me promise that we would stay best friends even past college. She gave me hope when I was lost. This girl even to this day has helped me with so much and I never really knew how to thank her.

Its those friends that you find early on that help bring that best out of you that truly because your best friends... and yes you can have more than one best friend. Now that college hit, it feels weird that we slowly lose the connection that we had, slowly because but just another stranger in our lives. Even though they leave, you find new friends to "replace" them, to replace that part of yourself that you feel has been lost.

Just a thought till next time.

Changes.

The final two weeks of college. Roughly 20,160 minutes left before summer begins. When i look back on how things have started until now, so much has changed. I became one year older, one year wiser. So much happened in these last eight months. The friendship bonds with the people I cared the most grew stronger than ever before. To the point where the bonds become almost unbreakable. Friendship is the most important part of any life. They are the people that help you get through any day no matter how easy or how hard the days are. When college first started, I had no idea how I would make friends. I was/ am still a shy child. Eventually though somehow I was able to friends that mean a lot to me. Once the friends were found though, college became different. It actually became fun to be at! Now the friends that I made here will be slowly incorporated into the friend group I home that I value the most.

Not only has the friends that I've made changed, but also the setting at home. At the beginning of the year, a few of my friends made a friendly bet on just some things like would be life changing. Looking back on it now, it definitely changed. We were all wrong! Somethings we were glad we got wrong and others we wished would happened differently.

As one door closes another will soon open. Only time will tell what will come in the future.
hoping the best friends I made here are just as awesome as back home

Steven

p.s Sorry this blog may not be the greatest.

Friendship

This post today comes from my phone.  Here I am laying on the ground but that doesnt matter, I was able to see Amber. We decided to take a road trip out to see Jacob out at his college. The three of us today makes me miss the summer and how close we are. We were able to see jacob and connected right away like nothing has changed even though we were 10-11 hours away.

Today I can say that I has the most fun in a long time. It felt nice to be away from everything. Even though we didnt really so much it was nice. I think the thing I love most is just talking and catching up.

It makes you appreciate the friends that you have. In high school the friends that you made were taking for granted. Then those friends soon became your best friends. Even then it felt like things were taking for granted. It wasnt until college that I realized how much my close friends meant to me. Theses are the people that I want to stay friends with forever. While in high school we didnt have to try hard to communicate to each other, but now that im in college its a diffetent story.  Now to stay friends we have to try a little bit and keep in touch with each other. 

I feel like for the most part I have failed on that. Today it has made me realize that maybe I should try reaching out because eventually without contact =loss of friendships that matter.

Trying not to lose friends
Steven

PC gamers

It is 3 in the morning and yet I am still up and can't fall asleep once again. I wish I didn't have this problem. Anyways, this weekend people started to question me and asking me how I could do something for so long yet they were doing the same thing. This was the first weekend when I didn't have any homework to do and I was able to just relax and do whatever I wanted. So I ended up playing minecraft with a bunch of people from my dorm. Sure it may have been alot, ten plus hours but that was over the course of three days. Why is it that only people that play games get question why they game so long. Right next door, there are people that play call of duty all day and all night and yet they never get questioned. Or musicians, Musician practice music all the time. There were days where I would play all day and no one ever wondered why I was doing that. What about hunters, all they do is sit in a spot for a very long time waiting for their prey to past by and then kill them and sometimes nothing ever shows up and in the end of the weekend they have nothing to show but it is ok for them to do that. PC gamers are just the same except they enjoy a more virtual world. The thing that really pissed me off was that sure I was playing minecraft all weekend, the people that ended up asking me how we could play this all day, was drunk all weekend. So pretty much they were doing the exact same thing as me but apparently in their eyes being drunk is socially acceptable but playing minecraft is not.

Well at least I don't lose brain cells

President's Weekend

Wow I never thought that I would of done this but I have published after this one 100 post! That's insane. I thought about posting something different as it is the 100th post but in the end realized I wouldn't of got here if it was the normal things that I post.

Last weekend, President's weekend I went home for the first time since winter break and it was quite an interesting weekend. It started off as a nice chill weekend going to my friends apartment to stay. There I was greeted by some of my favorite people in the world! I got to see my second family. It just made me realized how much I really miss these people and how much I miss being at home. I didn't even end up going home until Saturday at around three or four. Once I got home though, no one was there. My dad and bro had gone to him band concert. While my mom was out in Ireland doing some work related thing. My mom then decided to "Tango" me, which is pretty much skype but was a different app. I ended up talking to her for about an hour or until my brother got back. That night though I still didn't stay at home, I went back to my friend's apartment and hung out and stayed for the night. On Sunday I ended up doing a lot of homework and that night I went to hung with JH KJ TS and DJ. We went to the tea garden out in Minneapolis and then to watch warm bodies afterward. It was a nice get together that we did. Tonight would be the first night that I actually slept in my own bed.
On Monday, I was suppose to go back to Fargo but a blizzard came and they closed down I94 so we couldn't get into fargo if we wanted to. So with that setback I went out to Mankato because I wanted to visit some friends and not wanting to stay at home for the day. Heading out to kato wasn't bad, nice clear roads. Went and surprised some friends. First surprised JN and ending up hanging out with her for a couple hours. After hanging with JN, I went and hung out with AE. It was so nice to see her again. Even though we just sat and talk, it was definitely really nice.

The most interesting thing I did that weekend was I had to drive back to shakopee from mankato during blizzard like conditions. Again I had to drive it to fargo in blizzard conditions. Man I have a weird life.

Steven

Happy Chinese New Years

So how's the weather from where you are? Here in Fargo, we currently are experiencing a blizzard! It is so bad that they have already called in and canceled school for tomorrow. I thought that winter would be done by now but guess not. This has probably been the most snowfall at one time that I have seen.

Anyways onto a different topic. 

Happy Chinese New Years! Chuc mung nam moi (happy new years in Chinese). It is officially the year of the snake. This new years marks the very first new years where I wasn't with my family. It just feels really weird and to think that I have more of these to come in the future. Before leaving college I never really knew what missing my family would be like because I never had that feeling before. Even when my mom would go out and travel for one to three weeks, it meant nothing to me. Now though, they mean everything to me. It just feels so weird and sadly it has only been about a month since I've last saw them but still. I miss them so much right now. Next weekend, president day weekend, I plan to go home and visit some friends but sadly I wont be able to see my mom because she will be in Ireland. I haven't told anyone yet that I would be coming home mainly because I'm not sure that I can find a ride home or not.

The other day I went to a basketball game here at NDSU, the first non football sporting event i went to. It was pretty cool but it wasn't like anything I thought it would be. Well it was weird, anytime we were score points the entire crowd would cheer loudly. It could be from a simple layup to a swish from the 3 point line. Shouldn't a layup be normal and not something that should be exciting? I think the worse part about it was during the half time show. It was high school dancers dancing but that wasnt the worse part. The worse part was that they look liked sluts, 12 year old sluts. They wore the tights that looked like fishnets and they danced as though they were in a club trying to hook up with guys. Nothing seem too coordinated at all.

Lastly my blog here wouldn't be a normal blog without talking about my friends. Recently three of my close friends moved into an apartment together and I cant wait to see it. The best part about it is that they all have girlfriends now too! They are starting to make a name for themselves. Another is out at UND but I don't really know much about what is going on with her. All I know is that she is on her way to pursing what she wants to be. We can't forget about preggers. She is two months away from popping it out. Then we have the guys out at Carroll and UMD. Sadly though I know nothing of what they are doing or how they are.  Everyone seems to be on their way to being successful. Then there's me. Ever since I have came here I have done nothing with myself. I haven't done anything that would bring me closer to becoming a pharmacist. Urg.
Then there is this girl that I kind of like as well. And I have no idea what I want to do with this feeling. Im in a  tough spot right now. Can't say much about this except she is "short" well about average for a woman. More to come about this relationships and feelings in the next post.

Anyways Keeping you confused as I am
 till next time

One Odd Dream to Reality

So right now I should be writing a paper for my English class, but instead I'm here updating my blog while watching the super bowl commercials on YouTube. It got me thinking, people and players get pumped for this day. Players dream of the day that they can perform on the big stage with millions watching them.Sure I had a dream like that once. Dreams are dreams and sometimes you just have to go back to reality.

Before we head back to reality though, I had this crazy dream the other night. It wasn't one complete dream but instead it was a bunch of different parts to it. It started off where my friends and I were sitting around and we were talking, making small jokes and then one of the girls leans over to me and ask "would he really do that" I was shocked that she would ask me that and I just told her back " I have no idea but who knows unless you make the first move." After that all I remember was that there was a closed door. It then went to another place and I was jumping out of a plane. When I was about to jump for some reason I couldn't and when I looked down I had no bones. I was just a blob of skin jumping out of a plane. I had a couple of dreams like before it was over.

Once a dream is over, back to reality we go. Sometimes reality is like a dream and other times reality sucks. My reality is pretty mellow right now. Just an average college student that tries and study and get good grades. I'm not one of those students that you see on TV that goes out and parties all the time, just an average student trying to get through college. When I first got here, I was so excited to go to parties and make "poor decisions" but as time when on I found out that parties aren't really my scene. I don't really party hard with people I don't know. The worst part about it was that I didn't know anyone at all. I had no one to go to when I first got here. That may have been the worse part but the sad part was that I am a shy kid so making new friends and talking to new people isn't really my forte. Slowly I started meeting people and soon they became my friends, although who would want to be friends with me :P. I had found friends that I could kind of relate to at home. Maybe not the same as home but this is the best that I got. I can see myself being friends with these people for a very long time. But what really is a long time? Is a long time just a couple of hours or a couple days? Maybe its a year or better yet a lifetime. Who knows but why think that far into the future. What better time than to live in the present. The present here though isn't as great as one may seem. It has been cold and miserable in Fargo. Sure when you first look at the weather it isn't that bad, five degrees out or even -15 degrees out. What you really have to look for when you look at the weather out here the wind. The wind is just horrible. The other day there was 45 mph winds and a couple days ago it was 30 mph winds. So just imagine your -15 degree plus 30 mph winds, you are now freezing your face off.

At times like these, I just love to think about summer! Summer, a time where you have nothing to worry about and life is good. You got bikini, beaches, sun, boats and tons of fun with friends. This summer I want to make it as epic as I possibly can! These are the fun things I want to do by the end of summer

• Skydive! 
• Cliff Jumping
• More Paint balling
• Learn how to wake board
• Go to some concerts!
• Go on a road trip with friends
• Party!
• Have bonfires
• Just living life as it should be
• Travel

And the not so much fun things that I plan to achieve

• Taking the PCAT
• Going to summer school with Organic Chemistry 2

These list could go on and on forever but this is what I want most to do this summer. It is kind of like a summer bucket list. 

Well it is getting kind of late now as it is 2:30 in the morning and my battery is just about dead, So I will talk to you guys soon (: 

Be Your Everything

1st post of 2013

Looking at back on the past, mistakes were made, happiness happened, friends were made and ultimately life happened. No matter what happened over the year life still went on around me.

Looking at life now, everything has changed from summer. Everyone around me has fallen into a relationship. They have someone special to hold tight. Someone that cares a lot about them and would do anything for them. It just makes me so happy for them but so jealous as well. All I want is to find someone that can be that person. Someone that I can hold and would make my day just so much better. Today I helped my best friend with his relationship. It's so hard to make sure that they are happy sometimes.They have traveled down a bumpy road and trying to just head back to smooth sailings. A bro code was broken in this process. You never try to get the girl on your best friend. You NEVER try to break a relationship up, unless it is harmful to their health. How does one handle this? Who can you trust after this when the best friend is hitting on the girlfriend?

Why does everyone come to me when they have a relationship question? Why is the advice I give so much more powerful then someone else's? It may sound weird but sometimes I wish I was on the other side of this. I just want to be on the side with the relationship fixing problems that I had with her. Making the bond even stronger. Sadly though, I just haven't found the one yet, I thought I did but it wasn't what I expected. People around keep telling me to stop worrying about relationships but to focus on school. How can I focus when all I can think about is this? I hate thinking how lonely I really am. It maybe weird but I do better in school when I have a girlfriend just because then I'm actually happy with myself and able to do other things.

I just realized that all I'm really doing in this post is rambling and rambling on.

Anyways I just wanna cuddle >.< is that so much to ask?

Steven

Happy New Years

First post of the year! I would like to start by saying Happy New Years to everyone out there. May all your dreams, resolutions and wishes be true!

I thought about writing a post reflecting my year but why bother, my life is already written on the pages already.I just continue with the same old stuff. 

Everyone always ask what your new years resolution so for this year I want to be strong, I want to be "fit", I want to make friends that mean everything to me. Finally I want to be less shy to people. These don't seem to hard to do. I don't like making resolution in which I can't do. Why bother? These are the goals that I want to achieve!

So once again Happy New Year, May good fortune be upon you :D 

Steven