So today I found out who amber really like, nick. Although I was jealous at first, it's cool now. As long as she happy. But after thinking over the last few weeks I have sadly come to conclude that we wont ever be as close of friend as were before. This conclusion makes me very sad. :( I mean I've tried and tried to get our friendship back on track but instead of going in the right direction torwards best friendship, it goes in the wrong direction towards nothing. And nothing scares me, I don't know if I can live without you in my life, but I feel I might have to soon if it continues the way that it's going. We had one good day on Friday when we went swimming with Morgan and some friends but it seem like it was just a Friday thing. :( I was going to talk to her about prom and maybe ask her to prom as a friend but I don't think it's going to happen anymore :( well sadness and It makes me even more sad (actually almost crying) that I say that we might not even be friends. I can't stand this anymore! I think this is a reason why I'm so depressed lately. It getting so bad at points where I question life and if it's worth to live for and I was on the verge on almost doing it as well. As i write this note I write it in tears. But Ik I have to hold back feelings when I'm in school. But there are those days when I can't handle it. Well I think ima go to sleep. I'll be back Sunday (:
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