So today has become quiet a boring day. Yesterday I went to red lobster for dinner and it was yummy. Through that I was Texting amber about flirting which then got onto the subject of me liking KJ. You know idk If I like her or not. But like I flirt with her all the time and she does back..that's just how we are though...idk I don't think I like her like that? But like amber said " every other guy likes her so why not you?" i really didn't know how to respond to that at all. After 4 years of liking her I guess i just moved on knowing that there isn't a future for us there.
I've also been accused of pole vaulting just to get back with amber. You know I never thought of it like that before and I can see where people might see that. But I for one,am not doing it just to get back with her. I don't think I could stoop down to that level. I'm doing Vaulting because I want to not because of a girl.
Previously I've mentioned about my depression..well it has gotten worse and worse everyday. I feel so alone everytime I go to the high school... I don't feel like I belong there anymore. Everything is so different and it seems that it better without me. Whenever I with my friends is when i feel the most distant from everyone. They are all leading there lives just fine without me. Everything just seems to boring and nothing seems to be worth living for. It's gotten to a point as to all I was thinking was ending it last night. I mean as far as I know... No one would care and no one would even miss me or even bother to go looking for answers. If I don't find something or someone to live for then I guess this could be It for me. All this stress, this depression, this life... Is it worth it at all?
No comments:
Post a Comment