It seems as though everyone around me is dating and im the only one that is not. Everywhere i turn i see couples left and right. Either they are in a relationship now or they are talking about being in one. For example AE and KP have been in a relationship for a while now then theres AO and EP are also in a relationship. To the left i get another relationship and to the right another one. It just makes me feel so lonely and out there. its like i dont deserve to be with anyone. Just recently one of my best friend just got into a relationship too (MW and AH). It just everywhere people are dating. and here i am in this world as a lonely person with no one to hug or to be with or comfort. I was just meant to be alone. Probably thinking that i like someone too right? and yeah i do, but sadly that person like another person as well. So just bad luck for me.Every time i see the couples, i just get jealous inside of them. I never really was a type that liked the single life I always really liked to be able to be with someone i care about a lot. Someone to love and say that she is yours without anyone arguing about that. One of my problem is depression and and feeling lonely seems to be a big part of it i can tell. When i am with someone i actually don't get too depressed or even depressed for a long time. But without someone i seem to be depressed almost everyday and every night..
My depression started by in 5th grade, no one ever knew about this problem i had. Fifth grade was a hard time for me moving and all. I had to start making new friends and i wasn't good at it so making friends was a hard thing to do for me. Missing everything i had in my old life was what started. it wasn't until freshman year the i started to get depressions again. Before that i did not really have to worry about anything. In 9th grade I dated 2 people that i probably will get to again. The first one i dated was AE and she was pretty cool but we didn't last too long. Then it was KJ, oh wow this initial didn't really work here. Anyways KJ was next and i pretty much made the worse i mean WORSE decision ive really ever made in my life and i always wish for a second chance but second chances are earned and not just given so probably i have never earned another chance and because of that, it stuck up my depression once again. Then junior year hit and well pretty much all of that year and over that summer was the worse. They almost wasn't a single day when i wasn't depressed or thinking about things that made me depressed. Since then its been getting better. im still depressed now and then but it's not as worse as junior year. I dont know, depression has just been a huge part of my life now and i just dont know what to do to get rid of it
Well talk to yah later
Steven
