Today I went on a run to think some more. I know I know, you probably are sick of me talking/venting/ranting on the same old thing over and over, well too bad (: On this run of mine, I thought of you again and where we stand. Not only that I thought of stars and of cuddling :P Then I thought of the void that you have left me with to figure out how to heal. It all came to me roughly 2 miles into it, Yes I am a very slow runner. I've decided that I NEED you in my life,even thought it could be nothing more but as a best friend. I NEED someone to talk to when things are down and when things are at their low. I NEED someone to be there for me when I really need it and I realized that you have been there for me, you have helped me so much. I now realize that I need you more than you really know.
After that I thought about stars and how we have very few stars in here. I just want to lay out there with you and just talk about life. I enjoy talking about life because it really helps me with my mind and how my life is truly going. Knowing that there is someone out that that is willing to listen to me and elaborate how I feel. I just want to hold on to someone knowing maybe that you aren't mine but that I truly care for you and I don't know what I would of done without you in my life. Sometimes I feel as though I would never of been here if it wasn't for you. So many times you were able to calm me down and stop me from doing something soo stupid that I could of ended my life. So many times.... I dont know how often I get to tell you this but truly from the bottom of my heart: Thank You. I never knew how I deserved a friend like you, sometimes I feel like you are too good to have a friend like me. A person that never seem to do anything right and just always fails at life. A person that could never been a good of a friend to you. I never understood how you were able to handle me sometimes but you did and I applaud you. You mean so much to me and I NEVER want to lose you in my life.
Thank You for saving me
Steven
